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|Before you do it -- Making Contact with Adoptees/Birthparents...|
Making contact is a profoundly moving experience for both the searcher and the person who has been found; there is no other experience quite like it. One’s hopes and fears are all wrapped up in this final step in the search process.
While you want to take into account the other person’s privacy and unique situation, it is really not possible to know that much about his or her current life situation prior to contact. We suggest discretion and plenty of forethought. Sometimes searchers worry that they will interrupt the life of the person found. Remember that by contacting him or her, the searcher is simply providing both individuals with the opportunity to know one another. This is an opportunity that has been denied both the adopted adult and his/her birth parent until now.
When all the secrets are out on the table, it is so much easier to understand, to share, and to relate to those with whom we are irrevocably tied by blood and circumstance.